Maybe God has prepared us for this?

 

Naminaw kog talk this morning sa isa ka preacher ba

ana sya, people usually ask "am i enough?"

we forget daw that God said "ako ang tumawag sayo, hayaan mong akong mgbigay ng kailangan mo, akong mag equip sayu."

"Dahil hindi tayo tatawagin ni Lord para sa bagay na hindi tayo ready.

Hindi ipapagawa ni Lord ang isang assignment na alam nyang hindi natin kakayanin.

"If God called you for it, he will gift you for it"

Bibigyan tayo ni Lord ng ability, personality to do what God's purpose. 

Dahil pag nag Yes tayo kay Lord, dun lang natin makikita na matagal na pala tayong pineprare ni Lord para sa mission na ito, para sa purpose na ito. "

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This is gonna sound selfish.

But it just got me thinking lang and looking back

I was never someone nga gipagsilbihan. I used to think nga namana nako ni mama ang acts of service kay i see how much she serves and takes care of everyone's needs.

But I realize nga tanan roles akong giplay from the start kay of someone who loves, and serves and takes care of others, sugod sa pgka eldest anak hantod sa akong past relationships.

And listening to this talk ba, it made me maybe understand more why God made us meet?

Why gihatag ka niya nako ug gihatag ko niya nimo at this time of our lives?

Is this his purpose all along? Is this the plan?

Tbh, with the part of  the plan was you getting sick, it fucking sucks.

Pero He knew when this time comes, you'd need someone strong, caring, patient, understanding, loving to walk and navigate life with you in this journey.

Has He been preparing me for this part of your life?

Over the last week ako baya gi imagine what the next weeks, months, years are gonna be like.

The dialysis sessions, the hospital runs, the doctors appts, the strict diet, the new routine. 

And you know what surprised me? I wasn't that scared.

Its not even the hardships that i know are coming thats  scary. Im scared of the part that i might disappoint you.

My overthinking mind went into strategy mode instead nga mag panic. Nag search kog online articles/communities on kidney/dialysis and heart conditions. i found support groups nga naay mga tips and guides about navigating life moving forward. i found out about the impact sa emotional and mental health sa person and sa people around them.

Some patients say the early parts are the hardest, while others say mas daghan pa sila nabuhat sa ilang life than before they got sick. 

I found out naay centers that offer dialysis patient care courses -- meant for people to learn how to better take care of their loved ones who are on dialysis.

I checked if safe ra ba mag travel (and yes ok ra kaau!), in case you want to enjoy sunsets.

My point is, I should've been more scared but I wasn't.

And now I think I know why. Maybe God has been preparing me for this?

Maybe God has prepared me for you? 

Maybe there is a "rest of your life" plan after all? maybe short maybe long, we dunno yet.

These may be the worst plan and plot twist ever. but he said, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7 and "The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that is coming." Romans 8:18

See, i quote bible verses now. Hays. 

Pero, above all else, I just want you to be genuinely okay. I don't know if you did, but ako, gi question bya nako si Lord pag sugod why you have to go through ani tanan. 

And then i saw a clip that said "Hindi nagkakamali si God, hindi sya nagkamali na inilagay ka nya sa lugar kung nasan ka ngayon. Cguro meron syang gustong ituro sayo, may purpose ang lahat."

So that's what I've been holding on to. 🥺🙏💛